How to Improve Your Self-Confidence

A self-confident person is one who has a quiet acceptance about themselves and are realistic about their strengths and weaknesses. They know they won't succeed at everything they do, and don't have a problem with this fact. They don't view the world through the eyes of a victim. They take responsibility for their actions.

On the other hand, people who lack self-confidence focus on what's 'wrong' with themselves. They have a running monologue in their brain that judges them negatively. They often seek approval from others. People lacking in self-confidence avoid taking steps toward their goals in life, fearing they will fail. They can't accept compliments and are self-conscious about their perceived flaws.

What's important to realize is that self-confident people aren't born that way. These traits can be learned. Negative self-images can be changed, but it takes work to create new habits of thinking. It starts with that first step, choosing to change your outlook.

How to create a habit of self-confidence:

• Make a concentrated effort to replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Need some help? Listen to positive thinking CDs and read inspirational books. Do some research to find out what it takes to change bad habits.

• Create a mind-set of gratitude. Every night, before bed, think about the things in your life that you're thankful for. Think about your accomplishments. Focus on the things you did well that day. This is a good way to rid yourself of that negative self-talk.

• Create success for yourself. You can do that by accepting failure. This means taking risks and working toward your goals, even though success isn't guaranteed. Those inevitable failures in life are valuable learning experiences. A failure that results in a "ah-ha" moment is a stepping stone to success in reaching a goal.

• Take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Eating healthy food and having a regular exercise program will help you achieve a confidence in your body's abilities; along with boosting your self-esteem. To enhance your mental health, take steps to manage stress, get enough sleep, and socialize with friends and family.

• When conversing with others, make a habit of active listening. We often worry about what others think about us, but when we get to know other people, we find out that they have the same fears. Listening to others and helping them become more confident boosts our own self-confidence.

• When facing a situation that makes you apprehensive, such as an important job interview, do your best to prepare and practice, by using online and other resources. When facing a new situation in life, it helps to research and learn about that situation in order to help you handle your uncertainties.

• Stand up for yourself in an assertive way and hold onto your values. Attempting to live by other people's values and beliefs, rather than your own, makes you doubt yourself.

Finally, stand tall, and walk with a purpose. Wear clothes that make you feel and look good. When people compliment you, simply say "thank you," with a smile. Take time to compliment others. Don't take yourself too seriously; laugh at yourself. Socialize with people who are positive, not those who drag you down.

Building self-confidence isn't something that will happen overnight. But it's a trait worth pursuing, because it can help us meet life's challenges with a 'can-do' attitude. The self-confidence habit can help us reach our life goals and live a happier life.

Love Someone Today, Care About Others, Let Kindness and Generosity Be OK

We live in such a hectic world and somewhere along the way, we've let that become OK. I'm just too busy. i have so much going on - we say. And we know that everyone around us will accept that answer because they feel the same way. But what are we really keeping busy with and what does any of it matter anyway?

Didn't you originally go to work so that you could make a life for your family? That same family that you now never have time to talk with because you are so busy?

Didn't you originally join those clubs or activities to meet people and make new friends? Those same friends you now don't have time to interact with because you're so busy with all those clubs and activities?

Didn't you take that promotion so that you could make a little extra money and do some extra things with your family and friends and for yourself? You know, yourself - that person who drops into bed exhausted at night wondering how you'll ever find all the time you need to catch up on everything.

At some point in life you begin to realize that all of this running and hectic and crazy in our life - happened because we made a choice to let it. And we are the same people who can choose to end it.

You can choose to let one activity go. You can choose to be late for something or to just not go. You can begin to realize that if you don't start to make changes in your life to fit in the things that truly should be priorities - you're never going to have a life.

Love someone today. Care about others. Let kindness and generosity be OK.

You don't have to keep running around like a crazy person trying to be and do everything. You don't have to keep believing the world view that cynical and tough are the right way. You can begin to make small changes in your life today to bring love and kindness and generosity back.

You don't have to wait for congress or the government or your boss to say it's OK. You don't have to keep thinking - well right after this is done or maybe one day.

You made the choices to do all the things that are stressing you and keeping you from being loving today. And you can make the choice to live as a new and happier you starting today.

Yes, it may mean breaking some commitments and just walking away, but that's OK. It's time to remember what's actually important to you and why you do the things you do and how to get back to living as you each and every day.